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A joint hen and stag do, the “sten do” (stag + hen), or “hag do” if you prefer, is exactly what it sounds like: both sides of the aisle celebrating together, one party instead of two. And it’s quietly booming, because modern couples often share one friendship group, one budget, and one strong preference for celebrating with everyone they love in the same room.
And you? You’re probably organising for two people at once now, which doubles the spreadsheet and the opinions. So take a breath, because this is your full guide to the joint version done properly: the ideas that genuinely work for mixed groups, the games, the decorations, and the one activity that turns two friendship groups into one party (more on that in a second).
We’re Sashay Dance, and we’ve spent 10 years and over 2,500 dance parties bringing celebration groups together on the dance floor, mixed sten groups very much included. So we know exactly what works when the stags and hens share a dance floor.
First: Should You Do a Joint One?
The honest checklist from a decade of watching both versions. A sten do shines when the couple shares most of their friends, when budgets or annual leave can’t stretch to two weekends, when one side’s group is small, or when the couple simply can’t imagine celebrating separately. It struggles when either side secretly wanted their own moment, so ask the couple directly, separately, before committing. The elegant compromise plenty of groups choose: one joint evening inside otherwise separate days, everyone gets both.
The Best Sten Do Ideas (Joint Hen and Stag Approved)
Everything below is tried and tested by real mixed groups, starting with the one we know best. The sten do meaning, for anyone skimming: one combined party, both sides of the couple, double the guest list and, done right, double the fun.
1. A Dance Class the Whole Sten Group Learns Together
Best for: the one activity that gets both friendship groups doing the same thing at the same time.
A Sashay Dance class is the sten do’s secret weapon: the whole mixed group, hens, stags, mums, dads and the lads who swore they don’t dance, learns one routine together to the couple’s favourite songs, taught by one of our fun, friendly teachers. It’s completely 2-left-feet friendly, dancing queens and kings equally welcome, and nothing bonds two friendship groups faster than laughing through choreography together.
We bring everything, the speaker, the music, the moves, to your house, accommodation or a venue we can hire and include. Choose any 2-3 of the couple’s songs, any genre, any era, or pick from 25+ themes. We record the routine on the day and send your custom song mix to keep, and plenty of couples perform it together at the wedding, the whole sten group taking the floor at the reception is about the best first-dance backup ever devised. Ready to sashay into the celebration? See our dance class packages.
Our Top Trending Dance Themes for 2027
Our most popular themes right now are Mamma Mia, Last Rodeo and Taylor Swift. Loads of our groups even go on to do the routine at the wedding!
2. The House Weekend
Best for: the full joint celebration under one roof.
A big group house is the natural sten venue: one kitchen, one long table, a hot tub, and space for the whole blended group, with bedrooms allocated BEFORE arrival (the one piece of admin that prevents all the others). Our hen party houses guide covers finding one, everything in it applies doubly to mixed groups, book bigger than you think, and confirm mixed celebration groups are welcome in writing.
3. The Games Tournament
Best for: the keyword the search bar keeps asking for, and the afternoon that runs itself.
Joint hen and stag do games work best team-based and couple-centred. The Shoe Game is the sten classic: the couple sit back to back, one of her shoes and one of his each, and raise the right shoe to answer “who said I love you first?”, “who’s the better driver?”, “who REALLY controls the thermostat?”. Add a Mr & Mrs round with both halves answering live, team beer-pong-or-prosecco-pong, a sports day with bride and groom as rival captains, and a quiz about the couple written by both best friends. Our Mr & Mrs questions guide adapts perfectly, just ask everything to both of them.
4. Cocktail Making, Feasts and the Big Table
Best for: the evening anchor every sten needs.
Mixed groups eat and drink brilliantly together: a cocktail masterclass at the house (his-and-hers signature drinks invented and judged), a private chef or giant one-pot feast, or the long restaurant table for the groups-meet-properly dinner. Food is the great unifier when half the room has just met the other half.
5. The Adventure Day
Best for: groups that bond through mild peril.
Escape rooms in mixed teams, coasteering, raft building, axe throwing brackets, or a festival-theme garden day with games. Activity-led stens outperform purely social ones, shared mild chaos gives two friendship groups something to talk about by dinner.
6. Murder Mystery and the Karaoke Finale
Best for: the evening entertainment that needs no sobriety and no skill.
A murder mystery night is quietly perfect for stens: everyone gets a character, the quiet ones get a script, and accusing the groom’s best man of fictional crimes breaks more ice than any drinking game. Book a hosted experience or buy a kit with a wedding-party storyline. Then the universal closer: karaoke, team duets mandatory, the couple’s “first dance audition” as the finale, and the recording as the group’s forever-artefact.
7. The Split-Then-Merge Day
Best for: giving everyone both versions of the weekend.
The structure that makes sceptics love the sten: mornings apart, hens to the spa or brunch, stags to go-karting or golf, then everyone merges for the afternoon showstopper, the dinner and the night. Both sides get their own-crowd moment, nobody misses the headline events, and the reunion energy at the merge is a party in itself. If you take one planning idea from this page, take this one.
8. Decorations That Work for Both
Best for: making one space celebrate two people.
Sten do decorations have their own look now: “Sten Do” and “Hag Do” banners, his-and-hers balloon arches in two colours meeting in the middle, photo walls with both their eras, and Etsy’s sten do sellers print personalised welcome signs and confetti for exactly this. Ginger Ray covers the elevated staples. The rule: equal billing, if her name’s in lights, so is his.
Your Sten Weekend Itinerary
Friday: arrive at the house, welcome drinks, one-pot dinner, mixed-team games to break the ice (Shoe Game first, always). Saturday: split morning, spa or brunch for one camp, karting or golf for the other, merge for lunch, the dance class mid-afternoon while energy is high, getting ready, the long-table dinner, the performance and karaoke. Sunday: the full-group breakfast debrief, one last hot tub, home with two friendship groups turned into one. One split, one merge, one dance, that’s the formula.
How to Plan It Without the Politics
The sten-specific admin: appoint one organiser per side and make them co-chairs, split costs by the same per-head rule for everyone, build one shared itinerary with one optional split window (spa hour for some, golf or gaming for others, everyone reunites for dinner), and give each half of the couple one surprise moment of their own. And the dress code question answers itself: team colours or a shared theme, Team Bride and Team Groom tees being the sten uniform for a reason.
Ready to Make Their Sten Do Unforgettable?
If a private dance class the whole group learns together sounds like the bit they’d love most, sashay your way over to us. Sashay Dance brings fun, personalised dance classes to every corner of the UK, at your accommodation, or at a venue we hire for you if your stay hasn’t the space. Choose any 2 or 3 of the couple’s favourite songs and we’ll choreograph a bespoke routine and custom song mix, or pick from 25+ themes and we’ll sort the music. We bring the speaker, the music, the choreography and one of our fun, friendly teachers.
Don’t worry about a thing. Just tell us what they love, and we’ll handle the rest. Enquire today, they’re going to love you for this.
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